Pink Petals, Painted Red
by glitchesandwitches
Summary: A mysterious illness plagues the city, and it's straight out of a fantasy novel. No one knows how it's caused, or how it's cured. After a chance meeting between Olivia and Alex, Alex begins to get sick. Will they be able to sort out their feelings, before it's too late? Cabot/Benson
1. Chapter 1

Pink Petals, Painted Red

Chapter 1

* * *

 _They say it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all._

The first time Olivia Benson had heard that phrase, she was twelve. It was Valentine's Day, and Olivia was in the seventh grade. There was this one boy, Adrien Delgato, and Olivia was smitten. She had spent most of her school days admiring from afar, but on February 13th, Olivia decided to take a chance. She would proceed to spend all night, desperately making the boy the best Valentine's Day Card ever.

The next day, oh so quietly, she slipped it into his locker. She quickly ran away, before anyone could place her there...but not too far away. Far enough away where she could see his reaction. She proceeded wait around the corner, for Adrien to get out of class. Sure enough, the boy came. He opened the locker, his card fell out, he picked it up…

...And he laughed at it. He showed it too his friends, who also laughed. She had poured her heart into that card, and they thought it was a joke. Olivia spent the next period crying in the girls bathroom. It was not a great day.

When Olivia got home, her mother was a drunk as always. Of course, nothing different there. But even in her mother's inebriated state, she could sense that something was wrong with her daughter.

"What's wrong, honey?" Serena Benson slurred. Now, at this point in her life, Olivia knew her mother was unreliable. She was as emotionally supportive as a dying cat. However, today was different. Her heart hurt. Her eyes stung. She just needed to let it out.

And so she did. She told her mother about the card, the boy, the laughing. And to her surprise, her mother listened. Her mother, for once in her life, offered her a shoulder to cry on.

And that's when Serena Benson said it.

"It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."

That's so wise, Olivia thought. She had never heard a phrase so sagely in it's form. She would later learn that her mother did not coin the phrase, and that it was one of the standard things to say to people facing heartbreak. But at the time, it the phrase seemed magical.

As the years went by, Olivia would continue to hear that sentence in various situations. And as those years went by, the magic of the phrase wore off.

It's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all - she could hardly stand that phrase now.

Especially in cases like this.

* * *

Olivia sat in the courtroom, anxiously awaiting a verdict. She couldn't help but glare daggers at the defendant.

The defendant: Alan Todd, a twenty-nine year old painter. And while his works of art were breathtaking, the man behind the beauty was a monster. He was on trial for the brutal rape of Mia Curry, and beating the girl within an inch of her life.

Mia Curry would be lucky if she ever walks again, and Olivia was determined to see that she gets her justice.

The thing that made her the most sick about this case? Alan Todd's reasoning for why he did what he did? He was that in love with the victim. That's right, he was so desperately in love with Mia Curry, that it hurt. He needed to be with Mia. He was obsessed.

So now Olivia waited. She prayed the jury would be smart enough to not give into his "love made me do it" excuse. She hoped they had the humanity to see through that lie.

As they waited, Alan Todd coughed into his hand. His lawyer looked over at him, checking to see if he was alright. He shrugged. He was fine.

The jury finally came back. Olivia clenched her fists. What was it gonna be?

"On the charge of Sexual Assault in the First Degree, how does the jury find the defendant?"

Olivia always felt her heart drop at this part. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears. In her head, she chanted, "Find him guilty. Find him guilty. Find him…"

"Guilty."

Olivia sighed in relief. She stood up, and walked out of the courtroom. 

* * *

It was after cases like these, where Olivia needed sometime to unwind, just by herself. When she lived alone, she would go straight home to her apartment. She'd put on a movie, pour herself a drink, and lounge on the couch until she drifted off to sleep.

However, she was a mother now, so that wasn't an option anymore. Not that she didn't love every second she spent with her son - they made her happier than she had ever known. But she had learned long ago that, if she didn't time by herself, she couldn't be as good of a mother to Noah.

She had found a good solution, though. A twenty-four hour cafe had just opened up a block away from her apartment. The Roseleaf Cafe, and it was wonderful.

Olivia had become somewhat of a regular. She would come in after her shift, where she would be greeted by the usual barista - Hana. Hana was a sweet, young woman. By day, she studied neuroscience at Hudson University. By night, she was here.

"Olivia!" she would greet, "How was your day?"

"It was fine," Olivia would respond. She never told Hana the specifics of what she did. All Hana knew was that she was a police officer. She didn't need to know the rest.

"I'll take it you'll have The Usual?" Hana asked. Olivia nodded, and smiled.

"You know it."

Hana laughed, "Pretty soon, we're gonna have to start calling it the Olivia."

Olivia laughed, "I wouldn't complain."

Olivia went to her regular seat at the cafe, a little chair tucked in the corner, right by a window. She took her seat, and observed the cafe around her. Not many people were in tonight. There was a college student working on a paper, an employee cleaning the windows, and two men having a conversation. She could overhear some of it.

 _"It's a shame about Maureen."_

 _"I know. Of all the things to die of."_

 _"You know, when I first heard about the disease, I didn't believe it. Sounds like something out of a fantasy novel."_

 _"The world's a mysterious place."_

Olivia pulled a book a headphones out of her bag. Music and reading - an instant recipe for tuning out the world. She began to flip through the pages of her book, as she placed a single headphone in her ear. She couldn't be totally tuned out, not just yet. Hana would call out her name as her drink was ready.

The door to the building rang. Someone else had walked in. Olivia didn't look up, too interested in her page.

Another minute, another page flip. Olivia noted that it was taking a bit longer for her drink to be made. Probably because that other person was ordering a drink - besides, it looked like Hana was working by herself tonight.

"Olivia!" Olivia perked up. There it was. She got up, and went to drink. As she walked, she observed the person that came in. A tall woman, with blond hair tied up in a bun. Funny, Olivia noted, the woman's hair was as blond as Alex's used to be. Actually, she was about as tall as Alex was as well.

Wait, was that Alex?

Olivia arrived at the counter, picked up her drink. She looked to her side, to get a better look at the woman…

And sure enough, there was Alex Cabot, in the flesh. She didn't look as formal as she usually did - she simply wore a sweater and jeans.

It'd been years since she'd seen the lawyer. Alex looked over, and stared at Olivia. Her blue eyes brightened as she realized who she was standing next to.

"Olivia!" She exclaimed. Olivia laughed.

"Hey, Alex."

"I didn't expect to see you here," Alex said, "It's been a while."

Even though Olivia intended to spend the next hour alone, she found herself asking…

"Do you wanna sit with me?" she grabbed her drink, "I mean, if you have time. I'd love to catch up."

A small smile crossed Alex's face, as she spoke…

 _"I'd love that."_

* * *

 _There has been a serious lack of Cabenson lately, so I'm here to save the day. I'm going to try and update this story every Sunday. Are you a Cabenson fan? Let me know. There's not enough of us, lately. We need to stick together._

 _Until next time!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Pink Petals, Painted Red_  
 _Chapter 2_

* * *

She'd once had a law professor tell her, "You've got to chose a vice, sooner or later. Whether it's drinking, sex, or smoking _something._ If you wanna be a lawyer, you need something to take the edge off."

At the time, Alex Cabot thought that was ridicules. Stress? Please. She could handle stress. She could handle law school just fine, how much worse could the real thing be? As far as she was concerned, she could handle the "edge" just fine.

...And then she passed the bar exam, and as it turns out, her law professor was _100% absolutely_ correct. So she went to find her vice.

She'd tried smoking cigarettes, once. After a particularly long trial, she rad run into the bailiff outside the courthouse. He offered her a cigarette, and she accepted. She inhaled one puff of smoke, and nearly threw up on the spot. So cigarettes were a hard no.

As for smoking _other things_ , she didn't even consider it. Sure, she used to indulge in marijuana back in her college days. Back when she was young and dumb and had nothing to lose. But now she had a lot to lose. Getting caught with that stuff? Immediate career killer. No thank you.

Drinking? Honestly, if she drank something anytime she felt anxious - which was most of the time - she would easily become an alcoholic. No, drinking was something reserved for only the toughest of days, and even that would consist of a glass of wine, at best.

And sex? Sex required commitment to a partner. And a partner was something she didn't have time for.

And so, on the quest for a vice, she'd settled on caffeine. Lots and lots of caffeine. Her life would come to rely on coffee that was as dark and strong as they came.

She remembered, there was this one time, during her first year working for the Special Victim's Unit, that she'd made herself a pot of coffee - she didn't really have the time to go to a coffee shop, so she learned to make it herself. Elizabeth Donnelly had walked into the room, seen the pot, and asked to pour herself a cup.

"Just a warning, I like it pretty dark," Alex said.

Her boss simply shrugged, "Please, Alexandra, we're lawyers. We all drink our coffee black."

She would then proceed to take a sip, and immediately spit it out.

"Jesus Christ, Alexandra!" She would exclaim, "This is, by far, the worst coffee I've ever had."

Alex would simply shrug, and take a deep sip of her cup, "I told you, I like it dark."

"No, Alex. There's dark coffee, and then there's...whatever _this_ is."

It's at that moment that Olivia Benson would walk into the office. At this point in time, Alex didn't know Olivia that well. They were colleagues, sure, but they'd never had an actual conversation. The only thing that she knew about the brunette detective was that her mother had died two weeks earlier.

That wasn't exactly a ice breaker.

"Ah, Detective Benson," Donnelly greeted, "I have a question for you."

"Oh, I don't really have time for that," The detective would ramble, "I have to talk to Alex really quickly…"

"It will just take a minute. Now, tell me, how bad is the coffee at your precinct?"

"It's terrible," Olivia said, "Unless Munch makes it...he actually knows a really good blend, but that almost never happens."

"So it's bad?"

"Yeah," Olivia nodded, and looked over to Alex, "Is that all?"

"No," Donnelly continued, and poured another cup of Alex's coffee, "I need you to tell me what's worst. Your precinct's coffee, or this."

Olivia gingerly grabbed the cup, and looked over to Alex, "Did you make this?"

Alex nodded, with a sigh, "Apparently, my coffee is too dark."

Olivia laughed, "There's nothing wrong with that," and then she smile at Alex. Alex realized that she'd never actually seen Olivia's smile before. Given the nature of their work, there wasn't that much time for jokes. And Alex had never noticed how...nice of a smile it was. She found herself smiling back.

She watched as Olivia brought the cup to her lips, and took a small sip. And Alex saw Olivia's face contort. Her smile still stayed, but it was forced. Alex saw that the detective wanted to spit it out, but she politely maintained her composure. She forced herself to swallow it.

"That was, um," Olivia paused, looking for the polite way to say that it was terrible, "...really strong."

Donnelly started to laugh, "See Alex, your coffee sucks."

"There's nothing wrong with it!" Olivia interjected, trying to be polite, "It's just...not my taste."

Alex sighed, "Fine, whatever. My coffee is horrible. I get it."

Olivia laughed, "You know, if you like dark coffee, there's this diner I go to sometimes. They make a pretty good roast. If you wanted, after this case, I could take you?" And there it was. That smile, non-forced.

And Alex decided that maybe it would be nice to get to know her colleague, "Yeah, I'd like that a lot."

After that, Olivia would take her to the dinner. They talked, and got to know each other ever so slightly. Pretty soon, going places after cases would become somewhat of a traditions. They found themselves exploring the city together. Sometimes they'd get coffee, other times they'd find themselves in a fancy restaurant. With each trip, their friendship with strengthen. Pretty soon, Olivia would become one of the most important people in her life. Sometimes, Alex wondered if Olivia herself had become her vice. That's what it felt like, anyways.

But that was a long time ago.

Now here she was, so many years later, not having talked to Olivia in years. And they were sitting together. In a coffee shop. Just like old times.

Alex had her usual - the darkest coffee the cafe could make her. But she noticed that Olivia's drink was different. Back in the day, Olivia would order a coffee, wish a shot of vanilla in it. She would then mix a little bit of creamer - but not too much creamer.

Now Olivia was drinking tea.

"I don't remember you being a tea person," she said, the beginning of the small talk. Olivia shrugged. Alex couldn't help but noticed that Olivia looked even more tired than she used to. But she didn't look unhappy. In fact, she looked happier than Alex remembered her being.

"It's not my favorite, but it's caffeine free," Olivia explained, "Noah barely lets me sleep as it is, so I don't need caffeine keeping me up on top of that."

"Noah?" Alex asked. As the name slid off her tongue, that she realized just how long it'd been.

"Oh...oh my god, I never told you," Olivia sighed.

"Told me what?"

"I'm a mom now," And there it was. Olivia's smile, beaming at her, "Noah is my son."

"Oh...congratulations!" Alex cheered, but she felt her heart sink. How could she not know Olivia was a mother? She couldn't help but think of those times, back in the day, where she considered Olivia her closest companion. When the detective and the lawyer knew every detail about each other. And now, she didn't even know the detective had a family.

But she smiled anyway. What kind of monster would she be if she was anything other than happy for her friend. And honestly, she was happy for Olivia. She remembered how much Olivia wanted to be a mother. Olivia had always had a maternal instinct.

"I'm sorry, Alex, I can't believe I never told y-"

"No, it's fine!" Alex interrupted, "Honestly, don't worry about it. Our lives grew apart, it's okay."

Olivia sighed, "You sure?"

"Of course."

Olivia laughed, and took another sip of her tea. There was a slightly awkward pause. Filled by the silence of two friends who didn't quite know what to say. Honestly, Alex had a lot she could say. There was so much to ask. Who was the father? How old is he? Was he planned?

But those were all rude questions.

Luckily, Olivia filled in the void.

"So what's been new with you lately?"

Alex shrugged, "Well, I don't have a son. But I have a cat, now. So there's that."

"Aw, how cute!" Olivia cooed, "But...I seem to remember, you used to swear you'd never get a pet."

"I wasn't planning on it, believe me," Alex laughed, "I found her in the parking lot in January. She was hiding under my car during a snowstorm. I didn't want to just leave her there, so I took her into my apartment. I was gonna take her to the shelter the next morning."

"What changed?" Olivia asked.

"She slept in my lap," Alex laughed, "And she was soft, and warm, and she just kept purring. And she looked at me with these big, stupid eyes...she definitely manipulated me. But she's my cat now."

"You've always been a giant softy" Olivia laughed. "The Ice Queen, with the heart of gold."

"Yeah, yeah," Alex shrugged it off. But the compliment was nice.

"What's your cat's name?" Olivia asked.

"Mercury," she smiled, "Dumb name, I know.

"No, I like it! Do you have a picture of her?" Olivia asked. Alex started to reach for her phone.

"I'll only show you her if you show me a picture of Noah."

"Deal."

Alex brought up her phone, and started to scroll through the pictures, trying to find a good one to show off her cat. And she realized while she was doing so, that she had entirely too many pictures of her cat. She realized just how much time she spent with her cat, and how little time she spent with actual people. Not only did she not see Olivia anymore, she didn't see anyone, really.

She found a good picture.

"Here she is, my Mercury," She said, and handed the phone to Olivia. Olivia passed her own phone back to Alex, and the blond proceeded to look at the picture of her former friends son.

He was beautiful, honestly. Handsome, happy, full of life. But Alex couldn't help but notice, he looked to be about three years old. Maybe older? And, even though it'd be a while since the two of them talked...was she pregnant last time they saw each other?

"Its funny, you mentioned not planning to adopt a cat, I never expected to adopt a kid."

So he was adopted. Alright, then. That made a lot more sense.

"He's beautiful," Alex said. Sincerely, truly, "He looks like the luckiest kid in the world."

Olivia beamed. Alex watched her smile, how warm and gracious it was. She remembered how much she loved that smile.

She missed that smile.

Olivia's phone started to ring. Alex couldn't help but see the contact - it was Fin. Another person she hadn't seen in awhile.

"It's for you," Alex said, passing her the phone back. Olivia laughed at her joke, and picked up.

"This is Benson."

Alex sat back in her chair, and took a sip of her coffee. She realized, as she here with Olivia, that this was the most relaxed she'd been in a long time. Being with Olivia was always like that. The brunette was a beacon of light, who reminded her that the world could be good sometimes. She remembered how, back when they were close, Olivia was always there for her. She was there to celebrate her triumphs, and she was there to be a shoulder to cry on when it was needed. She was a rock in the lawyers whirlwind of a life.

Even when she was forced into the Witness Protection Program all those years ago, she made sure to give the US Marshalls hell until they could would let her see Olivia. She made it her mission to let Olivia know she was alright.

"Oh my god," Alex heard Olivia say, on the phone, "Alright. I'll be right there." She hung up, "Alex, I hate to ask this, but do you have a car? I didn't bring mine today, and it's an emergency-"

"Of course, anything," Alex was already packing up her stuff, "Where do we need to go?"

* * *

They were on a trip to Attica. Once they got into the car, Olivia explained the case she had just worked on, about the man who was just found guilty of sexual assault. She explained that something happened to him in his cell, but she didn't know what. Fin didn't say. They were on their way to the prison to check it out.

They sat in silence for a while. There was this dumb idea that existed, that good friends would always pick up where they left off. That nothing ever really changed, and that things would never be awkward.

That idea was ridiculous. They hadn't talked in years, of course things were gonna be awkward. Their lives grew apart. Were they still friends? Probably, Alex thought. At least, she hoped. Even though it had been a long time, she truly treasured her friendship with Olivia.

"...Do you want me to turn something on?" Alex asked, not really able to stand the silence anymore.

"Sure," Olivia said. Alex turned the radio on, and of course, the first thing on was the news.

 _"...doctor, do you think this pandemic could be the 21st century's AIDS crisis?"_

This caught her attention. Of course, there was that sickness that'd been going around. To think she'd almost forgotten about it.

"We don't have to listen to this," Olivia said, "Honestly, it's been everywhere on the news. I think I know all I need to about it."

Alex turned the radio off. Another small pause.

"...They say that every day, a new case of it pops up in New York," Alex said, attempting small talk. Even though the brunette didn't want to hear about this plague, Alex didn't really know what else to talk about it.

"Jeez," Olivia sighed, "Honestly, I still don't know I believe it. It just sounds, I don't know, too fairy tale to be a real thing, you know?"

"Yeah," Alex said, "Do you know anyone who's caught it?"

"No," Olivia replied, "Thank god. I can't even imagine. What about you?"

And now they breached a topic point that Alex wasn't too excited to talk about. Yet, here they were. Honestly, if it was anyone else, she would probably change the topic to something more lighthearted.

But there was something about being here, with Olivia Benson, that made her feel alright to talk about it.

"There was an intern at my office. He was fine one day, and then the next...he had a giant coughing fit at work. I'd never seen anything like it in my life. It was surreal. We called the paramedics, and all of us were carted away to the hospital. Emergency testing, you know? Luckily, no one else caught it."

"That's good," Olivia still had the tea in her hand. Alex caught as she brought it up to her face, and smelled it, just before she took a sip. She looked back at Alex, "...The intern, is he…"

Alex nodded, somberly, "He passed a few days ago."

"Oh, Alex," Olivia reached out her hand, and held onto Alex's shoulder. It was the comforting grip she was all too familiar with.

"Thanks," Alex said. She realized that the drive had been a lot quicker than she thought it would be. She found herself pulling into the parking lot.

Soon, they were rushing into the jail together, just like old times.

* * *

It wasn't quite like old times. Since Alex didn't work at SVU anymore, she wasn't allowed to go into the jail with Olivia. She was left to wait at the front desk.

The night felt so surreal. She could still feel Olivia's grip on her shoulder, ever so slightly. Alex found herself grabbing where Olivia held her, gently. A smile had formed on her face.

She wondered why her and Olivia had drifted apart. There used to be a time that the two were inseparable. She wondered what changed. Olivia didn't seem like she'd changed that much. Yeah, she was a mother now, but she was still the Olivia she knew and loved. And if Alex was being honest, she didn't think she herself had changed all that much. Sure, she didn't special victim cases anymore, but that was it.

Maybe today would be the day to change things. Maybe, after all this time, they'd go back to the way things used to be. Was that even possible?

Alex coughed, interrupting her chain of thoughts. It took her by surprise, honestly. That cough came out of nowhere. But she was able to clear her throat. That was weird, she thought. Allergy season was coming up. That was probably it.

She saw, out of the hallway, Fin rushed out of the jail. Another familiar face she hadn't seen before.

"Alex!" He exclaimed, seeing her. He looked surprised, and not to happy to see her, "What are you doing here?"

"I gave Olivia a ride…" she paused. She saw how panicked he seemed. "What's wrong? What's going on?"

"You need to go home, now," Fin said.

"But what about Olivia?"

Fin sighed.

"We're taking her to the hospital."

* * *

 _Thank you peterpeter, sage, EsterDF, and Thalie57 for reviewing. It means a lot to me!_

 _I honestly was gonna wait until Monday to get this chapter up, but I somehow managed to have some free time tonight, so I finished early. You'll all still get a chapter on Monday, but have a bonus chapter as well. I'm so thankful for all the response this has gotten so far, hopefully you all like this chapter as well. In the meantime, have a great weekend!_


	3. Chapter 3

Pink Petals, Painted Red  
Chapter 3

* * *

Being called to the prison because something had happened to the perp wasn't unusual. There'd often be a time where the perp would kill themselves, a cell mate decided to make them a victim. The situations varied, but they were all the same for the most part. Her and another detective would be called to the scene, as well as whatever prosecutor they'd been working with.

She'd made these trips with Alex often, back when they were co-workers. Olivia could remember the first time Alex was called to the jail like this. It was mid-trial, and the bastard had brutally raped and murdered for women. But he was sloppy about it. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Alex would get the conviction she wanted. Olivia remembered how much Alex wanted to crucify this guy. She'd stick the needle in his arm herself, if she could.

And then came the phone call. That his cellmate had taken justice into his own hands. He'd killed their guy, and they needed to check out the scene. She remembered how naive Alex was going in. She was just as calm and collected as she ever was, and was trying to determine how this would effect the bigger picture.

"Do you think that this is something that will effect the trial?" Alex had asked, as they walked into the prison. Olivia had to pause. Alex didn't know what happened.

"He was murdered, Alex."

"He was what now?"

Had no one communicated to Alex that the guy was dead? Alex looked slightly shaken, but she brushed it off. It occurred to Olivia that she wasn't used to this. In her world, people who went on trial would stay in a cell, where they would safely stay until their trial was done. This didn't get in the way of that system, as far as she thought.

"Do you want to wait here?" Olivia asked the ADA. Alex thought about it for a second, before she shook her head.

"No, I'll be okay."

They walked into the prison cell, to find a mangled and bloodied corpse. Alex walked into the scene, and gasped. Her blue eyes had widened bigger than Olivia had ever seen them. Her shaking hands had covered her mouth.

Olivia reached a hand out to her, gently grabbing her shoulder. The blond jumped. That's when Olivia realized that Alex had never seen a body before. She'd seen crime scene photos, sure. But the real thing was a different monster.

"Are you okay?" Olivia had asked. Alex slowly nodded her head, her hands still covering her mouth.

"...That's one less piece of garbage in the world," she'd managed to mutter.

"Come on," Olivia wrapped her arms around her, "Let's get some air."

Olivia escorted Alex out of the building. The moment they were outside, Alex had rushed away from Olivia's arms, and collapsed onto her knees.

She threw up.

"Alex!" Olivia had exclaimed, running to her friend, "Alex, honey, are you okay?"

"There was so much blood," Alex said, between quickening breaths. Olivia nodded. The blond looked up at Olivia' wiping her mouth, "Sorry. This is really unprofessional of me right now."

And Olivia laughed. She didn't mean to, Alex's pain wasn't funny to her. In fact, it hurt her to see Alex this shaken. But there was something about the way that, even now, Alex's main concern was how professional she was.

"You don't have to be professional right now," Olivia said. She pulled Alex close to her. The blond leaned into her touch. She was shaking.

"Do you have to look at things like that every day?" Alex asked. But it was more of a statement than a question. Confirming to herself that yes, that's what the detective did. Olivia nodded.

"Unfortunately."

"How do you handle it?" The blond had asked. Olivia shrugged.

"You get used to it," Olivia replied. A sad but true statement.

It wouldn't be long before Alex herself would be used to that very sight. In the years to come, Alex would look at more bodies than she could count. She would watch people die right in front of her eyes.

And then there was the time they thought she'd die…

Olivia took a deep breath. That was in the past. She had other problems right now.

* * *

She wondered how Alex was feeling now, riding with her to a prison. It felt so familiar to Olivia, but at the same time, it didn't. Alex wasn't the ADA right now - Rafael Barba was. This time, Alex had simply been her ride. The blond would have to wait out front, while the rest of them did their job.

Olivia met with Fin outside the cell. He was the other detective called.

"Do you know what's going on?" Olivia asked him. He shrugged.

"Guess we'll find out," he responded. They walked into the cell.

Rafael Barba was already in there, waiting just outside the jail cell. He watched on as their perp was shaking, coughing, spasming like nobody's business. Paramedics were tending to him. Occasionally, the man would cry out in agony.

"Was he poisoned?" Olivia asked. She ran through her head, going through a mental list of things that would cause something like this.

"Doesn't look like any poison I know."

The paramedics were able to get him onto their cart, and were starting to move him out.

He coughed one more time, a loud, hacking cough. Blood spurted out of his mouth…

As well as something else. If Olivia didn't know any better, she'd say he coughed up a flower…

Olivia, Barba, and Fin exchanged looks. Eyes widened. The sickness that'd popped up all over the city.

One of the paramedics jumped into action, realizing the seriousness of the situation. He pulled up a radio, explaining the situation to his superiors.

Olivia realized she was in for a long night.

"Are we gonna have to go to the hospital?" Olivia asked. The paramedics nodded.

"Anyone who has had any contact with him in the past few days needs to be tested immediately."

Olivia turned to leave. She needed to tell Alex. She needed to let the blond know to go home without her…

A paramedic stopped her, "We need you to stay here, ma'am."

"No, I need to tell Alex…"

"Who is Alex?" Barba asked.

"You mean Cabot?" Fin jumped in. Olivia nodded.

"Alex Cabot...we met up this evening, she was my ride. I need to tell her what's going on."

"We can't have you do that, ma'am." The paramedic pushed.

"But…"

That's when she watched Fin push through the paramedic.

"Sir, you need to stay here."

"I left my phone in the car," Fin yelled at the paramedics, "If I'm gonna be at a hospital all night, I'd like to have it."

He was out the door, paramedics chasing after him. Olivia groaned. This was gonna be a long night.

* * *

The disease that had caused all this was called "Hanahaki Disease," It was named after the first poor guy to come down with it - what a legacy to have. In New York, though, it had gained the nickname "The Fairy's Cough" due to the surreal nature of it's symptoms.

It started out like the common cold - a runny nose, a cough here and there. But then the cough would get worse. Pretty soon, the victim would be coughing up blood - but that was the only thing.

The victim would cough up strange, flower-like bits. But it was those flower-like shapes that caused the worst of it. They'd fill up the victim's lungs, until they couldn't breath any more.

Health experts were stumped. No one knew what the flowers actually were, what created them. Was it some bizarre cancer? Or...something entirely new. But the worst part was, no one knew what caused it. Whether it was transferred through fluids, or it was a viral infection.

Due to that, no chances were taken.

At the hospital, Olivia had been escorted in through a special back entrance, by people wearing plastic suits. She had been placed in a quarantined waiting room. At first, the room wasn't that full. It had been her, Fin, Barba, the paramedics from the scene, and some of the jail staff. Pretty soon, the room started to be filled with more people. The defense attorney from the case, the bailiff, even Judge Petrovsky had been carted in there.

One at a time, people were taken away to be tested. It was surreal. Olivia remembered her conversation with Alex earlier, how she had to be tested when an intern came down with the illness. A part of her wished she talked to Alex about it more - so she knew what to expect now.

"I told her," Fin said. Olivia looked up at him, "Kind of."

Olivia laughed at him, "I appreciate it."

"I didn't know you two were still hung out," Fin said. Olivia shrugged.

"I mean, not really," Olivia sighed, "We just both happened to be in the same place, at the same time."

"What's she doing lately?" he asked. Olivia shrugged.

"I...don't actually know, tell you the truth."

Fin leaned back in his chair, pulled out his phone, "It always sucks when you grow apart from the people you're close with."

Olivia nodded, "Yeah, it does."

Fin laughed, "Did I ever tell you about that bet Munch and I used to have?"

That got Olivia's attention "I don't think you did."

"I thought you two were just friends," Fin explained, "And Munch thought you two were friends with benefits."

"Munch thought we were dating?" Olivia exclaimed.

"No," Fin laughed, "He specifically thought your relationship was...and I quote, ' _purely sexual_.'"

Olivia couldn't help but laugh. She felt a blush come to her face. She looked to Fin, "Did you two ever figure out what we were?"

"No," Fin sighed, "We asked Elliot about it, once. He told us to mind our own business."

Olivia nodded, "Sounds like Elliot."

It was funny. Olivia had always been secretive about her private life. She'd dated a few people in her time at SVU - none of who she told her co-workers about. Part of that was because, yes, Olivia was dating women. She was a bisexual woman in a time that it could be a career killer. Not that she thought her co-workers wouldn't support her. Sure, they could be conservative at times, but she knew they had her back, no matter what.

Another reason, though, was that she liked to keep her personal and professional lives as separate as possible. And it was hard, at times. Her job gave Olivia baggage. Her cases stuck with her. It was something she still struggled with, to this day.

"If you don't mind me asking now," Fin said, "Did you and Cabot ever have a thing?"

Olivia opened her mouth to answer that question...but she paused. That wasn't a simple question. Her relationship with Alex had always been hard to define.

"It's...complicated," Olivia shrugged. Before she could get a chance to talk about it more, a doctor came in and called Fin's name.

"Finally," he exclaimed, and looked to Olivia, "Hopefully this means you're next."

Olivia sighed. Hopefully.

She leaned back in her chair, and closed her eyes. She wondered what would have happened, if she hadn't gone to the cafe that day. If she hadn't run into Alex that night. If she was being completely honest, she hadn't thought about Alex in months. Her life had moved on. If she hadn't run into Alex tonight, would she have ever talked to the woman again? It was a sad thought. There had been a time when the blond consumed most of her thoughts. A time where, she treasure the small moments between the two more than anything else.

Why wasn't it the same now? Why did they fall apart.

Olivia looked at her phone. Of course, it was past midnight. She took off her coat, and wrapped it around herself.

She should probably get some sleep, if she could.

It was worth a shot.

* * *

 _Thank you Sage, Thalie57, peterpeter, 1967, lizzy43, and nursenxn for reviewing! I really appreciate it! And special thanks to everyone who liked and favorited the story. You guys bring me so much joy._

 _This story will officially be updated every Monday. I've been having a lot of fun with it. Anyways, until next week!_


	4. Chapter 4

Pink Petals, Painted Red  
Chapter 4

* * *

Alex was used to walking home to an empty apartment. Lights off, clean, barely lived in. And if she was being perfectly honest, that's how she liked it. She could remember her college days, sharing a small living space with too many people. It ruined her for roommates, if she was being completely honest.

No, being alone was how she preferred it.

She walked into her apartment, kicked off her shoes, and felt something fuzzy at her feet. She yelped, ever so slightly, not noticing the cat below her. She looked down, and saw the furry animal's doe eyes. Every time she came home, the cat did this. It was obnoxious.

She sighed, and picked him up. He purred, and nuzzled into her grip. A small smile escaped her lips. The cat was too cute for his own good. She could barely resist nuzzling her nose into his belly.

"Hey Mercury," she greeted him, "Sorry I took so long to get home."

She didn't know why she apologized. The cat didn't care. His daily routine consisted on sleeping on the different surfaces of the apartment, and eating when that got boring. He'd manipulated her into giving him the life of a king. He knew exactly how to work her buttons. He was lucky he was cute.

Although, she had to admit, she liked having him around. She complained about him to anyone who would listen, but, she loved the dumb creature.

Especially on days like this.

She placed the cat down, and went to her kitchen, to make herself something to eat. Alex was never much of a good cook - Olivia once joked that it should be illegal for her to be near a stove.

Olivia. Alex could hardly believe the events of the night were real. Seeing Olivia again. Talking with the brunette...as awkward as it was. An emergency trip down to the jail, just like old times.

Olivia in the hospital. Olivia potentially being exposed to Hanahaki.

Alex told herself that nothing would come of it. After all - she'd been exposed to the disease, and she turned out just fine. Olivia would too.

Hopefully.

Alex opened the fridge, examining what she had. She debated just ordering out. There was a 24 pizza shop, that covered all her needs for fried food goodness.

She loved fried food - something Olivia used to tease her about, any chance she got. Sure, at work, Alex would make it a point to only eat the healthiest of salads she could get her hands on. Appearances, after all. Besides, eating healthy at work tricked her co workers into thinking she took care of herself.

Man, was that a lie.

Olivia may have been the only co-worker she ever had, that knew the full extent of that lie. It was weird. There was a time when Olivia knew all her secrets, and she knew Olivia's.

Now she didn't even know the detective was a mom.

She settled on making herself some pasta - a dish so simple, even she couldn't mess it up. At least, most of the time.

There was one time, back when she'd first joined the Special Victim's Unit, when she was working on a case. She was analyzing a case file, while discussing it with the brunette detective. She was arranging a date where they could meet up, and Alex could prep her for her testimony - it was a very sensitive case, and everything fell on Olivia nailing the trial. It wasn't a situation Alex liked to be in. She didn't like having cases, that only had one foot to stand on.

She would make sure it was a good foot.

Olivia, for her part, spent the conversation trying to reassure Alex that everything would fine - not that Alex would listen. The ADA wouldn't feel comfortable, until the trial was over. Alex had gotten so into her conversation, that she didn't realize that her stove caught on fire.

The alarms went off. Alex looked over to her kitchen, and screamed.

 _"Alex? What's happening?"_ The detective had said, concerned, over the phone.

"Nothing. I'll call you back," Alex said, as calmly as she could. She hung up the phone, and immediately tried to put the fire out. It wasn't a large fire, but it was still a _fire._ It took a couple of minutes, but Alex finally was able to put out the flames.

Her would be dinner was charcoal, but she didn't die in a fire. Win some, lose some.

She went to cleaning her kitchen - she knew from previous experience that charred kitchen materials were impossible to clean, unless you got to them fast. She'd heard a knock at the door.

It was odd. No one ever came over, except her mom or uncle, and even that was rare.

She cautiously went to the door, and opened it to find Detective Elliot Stabler.

"Detective," she said...she was not comfortable enough to be on a first name basis with the man yet, "What are you doing here?"

Elliot sniffed the air, and smirked, "Liv said you screamed, and ended your conversation really fast. She knew I was in the area, and wanted me to check to make sure you're okay." Alex was a bit shocked by the words. Olivia Benson was worried about her. Worried enough to send her partner to check on her. She smiled a bit, "So? What'd you burn?"

"Pasta," she replied, sheepishly. There was an awkward pause, "So...do you want to come in? Can I offer you a drink."

Elliot shrugged, and took the offer. He stayed over for exactly an hour, and drank only water - he wasn't officially on duty, but he was on call. They talked, about their case, for a little bit.

But the conversation eventually turned to Olivia, as it usually did. Elliot told her stories of their times as partners. Of the other times Olivia went the extra steps, to protect the people around her.

Alex wondered if her fondness for the detective stemmed from that conversation.

The blond lawyer would eventually come to know just how devoted Olivia was to the people around her. It was both her greatest strength, and her biggest flaw. It was admirable.

She couldn't help but think just how lucky Olivia's son would be. He'd live a charmed life, that's for sure.

Alex coughed, briefly, before going back to her food. She wondered...would it be appropriate to call Olivia the next morning? After all, they still had a lot of catching up to do. They'd spent years apart. Alex, honestly, would love to know everything Olivia had been up to, all that time.

Did Olivia still have the same number? Was calling the detective even a good idea?

Alex thought on it, for a second. Maybe there was a reason they'd grown apart. Alex remembered, when she worked with the Special Victim's Unit, they were inseparable. They had a relationship that was unlike any Alex had before. It was a dream.

But when they were separated? Nothing. The first time Alex left, when she was forced into Witness Protection, it was obvious why she and Olivia didn't talk. But then she came back...back to New York, back to being Alex Cabot, and...she didn't talk to Olivia for three years. In fact, she'd gone through great measures to avoid the detective. Out of guilt. Out of...feelings she didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with.

Finally, she ended up joining the Special Victim's Unit again, back with Olivia...and things were awkward, admittedly. Of course they were. She ignored Olivia for three years. But eventually, they worked out their feelings, and eventually, they were even closer than before.

...And then Alex wanted more from life. She threw it all away, and went to Uganda. And while she had more control over her absence this time, she could call Olivia when she wanted to...the phone calls stopped. She got wrapped up in her career, and Olivia in hers. They stopped talking, again.

Then she came back to New York, and she found a very different Special Victim's Unit then the one she knew. Olivia had a new partner, and she wasn't handling it great. But the moment Alex came into the picture again, they picked up where they left off. And it was marvelous.

But a better job came Alex's way. She debated not taking it, but it was Olivia who encouraged her. And so, the blond left the Special Victim's Unit for a third time.

And when she left, her relationship with Olivia fizzled with it. Alex had come to the conclusion that, maybe that was the key to her and Olivia. Maybe their relationship depended solely on working together.

* * *

There were times when Alex felt more at home in her office. Not that she didn't like her apartment, but she spent more time in her office. All her things were at her office. Her apartment might as well be the place she rented out for her cat to sleep in.

She was consumed in paperwork, tuning herself out from the world around her. Her job was...alright. It was a good job. It was very easy to rise up the political ladder here. And it kept her busy, which she liked.

But it wasn't that satisfying. She barely saw the inside of a courtroom. Her days were spent looking at files.

She hated it.

There was a knock on her door.

"Come in," she said, absentmindedly. She looked up briefly to see...someone she barely knew. He looked familiar.

"Alexandra Cabot?" he asked. She nodded.

"That's me," she replied, "And you are…

"Rafael Barba," he greeted, and offered his hand to shake. It dawned on her. Rafael Barba was the current ADA assigned with the Special Victim's Unit. He was considered one of the best prosecutors in New York, currently. He held the second highest conviction rate with the Special Victim's Unit.

She still held the first, not that it mattered.

"Mr. Barba, I've heard so much about you," she hook his hand, "Please, have a seat."

"I don't need one. I'll be brief," he replied. The man was quick and to the point. She had a feeling she'd get along with him, "As you may know, I currently have your old job."

Alex nodded, "With the Special Victim's Unit."

It occurred to her - he must of been at the jail the other night. He had to have been tested for Hanahaki, along with Olivia.

"I heard about the incident with Hanahaki," she said, probing, "Was anyone…"

"We all tested clean," he said. Alex felt herself sigh in relief. Thank god.

"It was a waste of a night," he sighed, "But that's actually why I'm here. While we were waiting to be tested, Olivia talked about you."

"She did?" Alex asked, surprised by that detail. Barba simply nodded.

"She spoke highly of you," he nodded, "If I may be frank, I'm going to have to take a brief leave from the Special Victim's Unit."

"Brief leave?" she asked.

"Nothing permanent. Without giving out too much detail, there is a family emergency, and I will be out of state for a while."

Alex nodded, "So what do you?"

"I know it would technically be a demotion, but I want to leave the unit in good hands," he explained, "Other ADAs, there's a learning curve. And the thought of leaving my cases with some of them, it pains me."

"You want me to be your replacement?" she asked. He nodded.

"Forgive me if I'm asking too much."

Alex went silent, just for a moment. She'd be lying if she said the thought didn't thrill her. While the Special Victim's Unit was emotionally taxing, it was also some of the most satisfying work she'd have the privilege of doing.

"I'll think about it."

* * *

 _Thank you Thalie57, 1967, and peterpeter for reviewing! Sorry this chapter came a day late, everybody. I got in a car accident, and it threw off my schedule. But no one was hurt, and everything is alright._

 _Anyways, thank you for the support this week. I super appreciate it!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

* * *

The last two nights had been rough, to say the least.

The hospital had kept Olivia until 6:47am. That gave her just enough time to get some coffee, before immediately going back into work. She didn't have enough time to go see Noah. Luckily, her nanny was absolutely understanding about the night's events, and diligently stayed with the toddler all night. Olivia made a note to give her a huge raise. She deserved it. Noah, for his part, was sad his mommy didn't come home - but surprisingly understanding for a toddler.

Olivia had spent her lunch break that day at the preschool, spending some much needed time with her child, and it was the fastest hour of her life. She would spend all day with the kid if she could. If only.

It was now nearing the end of the day, and it left her heart a little heavy. It was one of those days where justice seemed to be against the victims. Very few of the unit's cases seemed like they would get any closure.

Then there was Alan Todd. Even though the jury had found him guilty of all charges, it looked like he was going to die in an isolated hospital room before a judge would be able to sentence him. A terrible fate, to be sure - but Olivia couldn't help but feel like he was cheating justice. Though, she supposed she should count her blessings. He didn't give her his illness. He didn't give anyone in her unit his illness. At least there was that to be grateful for.

She looked at the clock - it was about time for her to leave. She smiled. Time to get some much needed time in with her son.

As she got up from her office chair, there was a knock on the door. Before she had a chance to answer it, she found Rafael Barba coming into her office.

"Do you have a minute?" he asked. Olivia sighed. Barba never talked to her about anything that wasn't important.

"Yeah," she said, although reluctantly. She didn't want to deal with anything else case related today.

He took a seat, and sighed.

"I'm going to have to leave the unit," he said, bluntly. Without hesitation. It took Olivia a second to process exactly what he said.

"What?" she exclaimed. The Special Victim's Unit worked best, when there was an assigned ADA. Most lawyers, they couldn't care less about what happened at the Special Victim's Unit. Having an ADA who specifically worked with them made the hard process of justice a little bit easier.

"Not permanently," he explained, "Just a month, maybe two."

Olivia nodded. That was better, she supposed. That still meant they were gonna be struggling for a while.

"When do you leave?" she asked.

"A couple days. But I don't want to leave the unit hanging," he paused, "I talked with Ms. Cabot-"

"Alex?" she paused. Her heart jumped a bit. It was just a few days ago she saw Alex again, and now they might be working together? No, probably not. Alex was quickly on her way to becoming a DA. If not in New York, some other state. As sad as it was, working with the Special Victim's Unit was beneath her. There's no way Alex would agree.

Barba nodded, "She's a fantastic lawyer, and I want to leave the unit in good hands."

Olivia smiled. It was true - Alex always left the unit better than it was when she got there.

"What did she say?" Olivia asked.

"She told me she'd think about it," Barba said, "But, I'm not hopeful. Which is why…" he leaned into her desk, "I was hoping you would talk to her."

"Why me?" Olivia asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" the ADA laughed, "You spoke very highly of her at the hospital, and Fin said the two of you used to be close."

"Used to, being the key part of the phrase," Olivia paused, a small pang of guilt. That phrase described her and Alex all too well. Her and Alex used to be a lot of things. "I don't think it'd be appropriate of me to ask her. I'm sorry."

Barba nodded, and stood up. He gave her a small smile.

"I understand," he said, and left the office. Olivia leaned back in her chair. She couldn't ask Alex something like that. As amazing as it was to get coffee with the former ADA, there was something awkward about the encounter. Whether she liked it or not, her relationship with the blond had deteriorated. And as much as she would love to work with Alex again, she couldn't ask her to possibly sabotage her career because she wanted to work together again.

She was making the right decision. She knew that.

And yet, she felt slightly guilty about it. And she didn't know why.

* * *

Olivia lied in her bed, blankets up to her chin. Her eyes were closed, and she took a deep breath. Noah had been asleep for an hour - he stayed up slightly past his bedtime as Olivia read him an extra story. They hadn't spent too much time together, and Noah was happy to stay up with his mommy. Now he was safe and sound in his bed - while Olivia was left with her thoughts.

She couldn't stop thinking about what Barba had said - about the possibility of Alex Cabot being with the unit, just for a little bit. How he wanted her to ask the blond.

Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad if she did. She was in charge of the Special Victim's Unit now, and she had to act in the unit's best interest. Alex was the unit's best interest.

Olivia pulled out her phone, and looked at the time. It was 10:45PM. For anyone else, that would be too late to receive a phone call. But Alex? The lawyer had chronic insomnia, and on a good night, she would go to bed at the early time of 3AM. Alex used her insomnia for her advantage - that was when she caught up on paperwork, or read up on cases. Occasionally, she would use the time to catch up on herself - maybe read a good book if she could find one.

Olivia and Alex used to talk on the phone at night a lot - usually about cases. Sometimes just to hear each other's voices.

But then again - a lot has changed since she last saw the lawyer. There was a chance that Alex put an end to her insomnia, and got the proper medication to treat it. Maybe calling her right now would simply wake her up.

Yet, Olivia still found herself scrolling through the contacts. The detective realized this might be a mistake - how did she even know that Alex had the same number? Maybe she would just be calling a stranger.

She found the contact info - Alex Cabot. It was complete with a dumb picture Olivia had taken of the lawyer, a picture of when they went ice skating together. The two had spontaneously decided to take a selfie - neither of them had ever taken one and hey, why not take one together. It was one of maybe three selfies Olivia had ever taken?

She hesitated, for a bit. This was dumb, she decided. She shouldn't make this phone call. She would regret everything.

And yet, she pressed the button.

The phone rang once, twice, three times…

 _"This is Alex Cabot,"_ the voice on the phone said. Olivia smiled. At least she didn't call a stranger, _"Who is this?"_

A punch to the gut - Alex didn't have Olivia's number saved. Of course she didn't.

"Alex, hey...It's Olivia," she said. It was awkward, to say the least. She heard a gasp on the other end of the phone.

 _"Oh, Olivia, I'm so sorry!"_ she exclaimed. She heard Alex cough on the other end, Olivia figured she caught the blond off guard, _"Excuse me...sorry. I got a new phone last year, and I couldn't figure out how to import my contacts, and-"_

"Don't worry about it," Olivia said. It wasn't a big deal, anyways. At least, she didn't think it should be.

 _"I heard no one in the unit was infected,"_ Alex said, small talk, _"I'm glad to hear everyone was okay."_

"Me too," Olivia said. Maybe this was the perfect place to transition to why she was really calling, "So Barba told me you two talked."

A small pause, _"Oh yeah,"_ was Alex's response. Another pause.

"I just wanted to call and say, as much as the unit would benefit from you being there…" she paused. She wanted to include how much she would enjoy having the lawyer back on the team. How she missed their days of working together. But she decided it was best kept to herself, "...I just wanted to say that…" she wondered, would it be selfish to ask Alex to come back? Maybe her first instinct was right. She shouldn't have made this call, "I'd love to have you back. But if being with us sabotages your career…"

 _"I'm gonna take the job,"_ Alex said. Olivia's heart skipped a beat.

"What?"

 _"I'm going to take the job,"_ Alex repeated, _"I was planning on working somewhere else, anyways, and it would be a nice transitional job."_

Olivia found herself smiling, "Well...great. I'll see you at work, I guess."

 _"Yeah,"_ the lawyer replied, _"Sleep well, Liv."_

"You too."

She heard a laugh on the other end of the phone, "You know I don't sleep," was all that Alex said.

Olivia found herself laughing at the joke, "Well, have a good night regardless."

 _"You too."_

And with that, the conversation ended. Olivia felt her pulse racing. Alex was coming back. She would actually be working with the unit again, even if it was just for a little bit.

Olivia closed her eyes. Somehow, she found it a bit easier to sleep now.

* * *

 _Thank you peterpeter, Brels, Guest, Thalie57, and lizzy43 for reviewing. You guys make my rocking world go round._

 _Sorry for being a couple days late on this, again. I might start making the update date Tuesdays instead of Mondays, since Mondays have become kind of my catch-up date. As always, let me know what you guys think. I appreciate the support. Once again, you rock my world._


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